Why Do OkCupid Messages Disappear?

OkCupid is a mobile dating platform that matches people based on their preferences measured using their answers to a list of questions instead of attractiveness via photos. After matching with the person you can message back and forth but sometimes your messages disappear from the Conversations page.

OkCupid messages disappear because the other user has unmatched your profile, blocked your profile, deleted their profile, got banned from the platform or you have blocked their profile. Any of the above five reasons could result in your OkCupid messages disappearing from your inbox.

OkCupid shows you a bunch of profiles based on your answers to the questions and you can decide whether to swipe left or right on those profiles.

When both users swipe right on each other, they will match and can initiate the conversation by sending a message to the other person.

But, there are circumstances where your OkCupid messages may disappear from the inbox. This article explains why does your OkCupid messages disappear.

Why Did My OkCupid Messages Disappear?

OkCupid has a chat feature that allows you to message the person you matched with similar to other mobile dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, etc. The users can send messages to one another or they can send an intro message to initiate the conversation and show their interest in the person.

However, in certain situations, your messages may suddenly disappear, and even the OkCupid sent message profile disappears. Here are the reasons why this happens.

1. You May Have Blocked The Other Person

If you block a user on OkCupid, their messages won’t appear in the Conversations inbox and you cannot access their messages. The messages you sent to the user will also be deleted permanently.

You should be really careful before blocking someone because you will lose their messages permanently and there is no way to recover these messages.

2. The Other Person May Have Blocked You

If the other user blocks you, the next time you log in to the app or refresh the app page, you will find that their profile and messages in your inbox are no longer visible and have been deleted permanently.

When someone blocks you on OkCupid, their profile and messages are removed and it feels as if you never matched with that person.

3. The Other Person May Have Deleted Their Account

There is a possibility that the other person has deleted their OkCupid account. If a user deletes their account, all of the information related to their profile including messages are deleted from the OkCupid servers and you will find that the messages have also been deleted from your account.

4. The Other Person May Have Disabled Their Account

If the other user has disabled their account or put their account into moderation hold, their account is not allowed to access any feature on the platform until they reactivate their account.

5. The Other Person May Have Been Banned

If the other user has been reported by several other accounts or they have broken the Terms and Conditions of the OkCupid platform, there is a high probability that their profile has been banned and deleted.

If that’s the case, the user’s profile will disappear from your match list and all of their conversations will disappear from your Conversations inbox. It may feel as if the user unmatched you but in reality, the user was banned from the platform and all of their information has been deleted from the OkCupid servers.

These were all the reasons why your messages and sometimes the entire message thread have disappeared from OkCupid. Most of the time, the messages don’t disappear because of something you’ve done it’s because of the actions of the other user.

If you find someone really interesting make sure to ask for their WhatsApp number or Snapchat profile to continue the conversation somewhere else in case your or the other person’s OkCupid account gets deleted.

OkCupid Deleted All My Messages

OkCupid deletes all your old messages only if the profiles that sent you those messages have unmatched you, blocked you, deleted their profiles, or got banned from OkCupid.

OkCupid doesn’t delete messages without any reason. All your OkCupid messages have been deleted due to the four reasons mentioned above.

How To Recover Deleted OkCupid Messages?

If the messages were deleted because the other user has unmatched you, blocked you, or deleted their profile then you cannot recover those deleted messages. If the messages were deleted because of a glitch in the app then you can recover these deleted messages by contacting OkCupid Customer Support at support@okcupid.com.

Your messages can be recovered only if they are still present in OkCupid’s servers. If the messages have been deleted from their servers then there is no way to recover them.

There is a very slim chance that you’ll be able to recover your deleted OkCupid messages so don’t keep your hopes up.

Similarities Between OkCupid And Other Mobile Dating Apps

OkCupid has the same swiping feature similar to other mobile dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge. The user can swipe right to like the profile and swipe left to remove the profile from their card stack. Here are some of the similarities of OkCupid with other dating apps.

Swipe To Match

The profiles are shown to users in a card stack and it depends on the user whether they want to swipe right or swipe left. If both the users swipe right on each other, they will match and will be allowed to message each other. They cannot message each other before matching. If anyone swipes left on the other’s profile it will be removed from their card stack.

OkCupid has a unique feature that allows users to add a small note to each other when they swipe. Users can take advantage of this feature to pass a compliment or say something funny or unique that piques their interest.

Hidden Features

OkCupid is similar to other dating apps in hiding some special features from users.

OkCupid See Who Likes You

OkCupid limits the number of swipes a person can use continuously. Users get around 3-5 swipes before they are shown a purchase screen to buy more swipes. So, if you’re a person who likes to swipe continuously without worrying about losing your daily swipe limit then OkCupid is not ideal for you.

The swipe limit on OkCupid is a lot lower than other dating apps and can pose a problem for users. Apps like Tinder have a right swipe limit of 100 but OkCupid allows only 5-6 swipes before you they are shown a purchase screen where the user can purchase a plan with unlimited swipes for 1, 3, and 6 months. You can check the prices on their website.

OkCupid has another feature similar to Tinder called Boost. The Boost feature allows you to put your profile in front of a lot of new and old users thereby increasing the visibility of your profile.

Differences Between OkCupid and Other Dating Apps

OkCupid has some unique features that make it different from other dating apps. I have mentioned two special features below.

1. What They’re Looking For

This is one of the most unique features you’ll find in a dating app and this is what makes OkCupid great. This feature makes it clear what a person is looking for and what doesn’t interest them. There are no chances of mixed messages because the users know what the other person is interested in.

When a user signs up on OkCupid for the first time, they are taken to a screen where the user can choose what they’re looking for. They can select one from the options mentioned below:

  • Hookup
  • New Friends
  • Short Term Relationship
  • Long Term Relationship

When the user selects an option about what they’re looking for, it will be displayed publicly to other users. So, if you’re a female looking for a Short Term Relationship it will be displayed on your profile.

This feature helps OkCupid users match with others because they already know why the other user joined this platform and what are they looking for in a relationship.

There are no hidden secrets, unlike other dating apps where users might have some hidden intentions which you only come to know about once you match with them.

I personally love this feature and I believe this should be included in all dating apps to improve user experience.

2. Match Percentage

When the user creates their OkCupid profile they are presented with a questionnaire that contains 15 mandatory questions and around 100 optional questions. Users have to answer all the 15 mandatory questions and it’s their choice if they want to answer the optional questions.

After the questions have been answered, OkCupid detects answer similarities with other profiles and adds them into their Matching Algorithm to calculate a Match Percentage.

This is an amazing feature because you already know if the other person shares similar interests with you. This makes it easy to communicate on certain topics and you won’t run out of things to talk about.

OkCupid match percentage

The match percentage is represented by a pink % circle if the match is most compatible and it is represented by a blue % circle if the profile is least compatible. Before swiping right on a profile, you can check the match % to find out how compatible they are with you.


Your messages on OkCupid disappear if the other user unmatches you, blocks you, deletes their profile, or gets banned from the platform. The messages could also disappear if you block them.

If you see your messages deleted then there’s nothing you can do. You can try contacting customer support but chances are that you won’t be able to retrieve the deleted messages.

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